Interesting Conversation.

Fear cripples faster than any implement of war.

Why is it that a conversation opener "Do you believe in God?" Turns into a near debate over scripture accuracy, probability and the old heaven vs hell stuff.
Things are so much bigger than all that. And simplier.
Do you believe in God, or what men have to say about God are two completely different things.

Holy Scripture is stories. Legends and history of man's quest to understand his own need for meaning; for belonging and sense of purpose. This is not about giving an opinion or passing judgement on literature.
It is about lying out underneath the stars at night and sensing Divinity. Looking up and feeling in your gut of looking at God's work first hand. It's about sensing, without knowing, a bigger picture at play. Not about what someone claiming to speak for God wrote on a page of something who knows how long ago. Don't get me wrong, there are some good stuff on those pages. In its true form much may have begun as the Word of God.
But it is so much bigger than the narrow mindedness of those with noses stuck in those Holy Books.
Look up for Heaven's sake.
And yet how many would try to argue both sides of an Mobius strip?
The twisted ring of paper that technically only has one side.

It is not about wanting to believe either. Or Intellectual suspension. Or getting hung up over the loving God, eternal judgement and damnation thing either. It is simpler than all of that, and yet not scene by many.

Religion could be viewed like a language or a dress. One will gravitate to what they know and are familiar with. In the end, when it comes right down to it though, all professing the same thing. That life has a purpose; meaning. And gratitude for that power who created us.
Faith is not Random, Faith is universal. Specific methods are arbitrary. In the end the Truth we are searching for is greater than Ourselves.

"Science tells me God must Exist.
My mind tells me I will never understand God.
My heart tells me I am not meant to."

Plain precious and simple truth. It just is.
Without all the frequency bit or gravitating or anything to explain.
It just is.

All that, and I love feeling in numbers. Seeing in colour the feelings I have around numbers.
It is something I had long forgotten about. Faces I never forget. Names and events I have to work at. Numbers flow naturally and effortlessly. I wish I knew what these formulas in my head meant. Soon.
It is the pathway, the formula to all that I desire. To my hearts true path. To the future I want. It is the bluprint and the design and the contractor all in one. Numerically.
Stunningly Beautiful.
Alive.