New Year

It's been a while.

New year filled with new promise dragged down by hold habits.

I'm drowning in Harrisims. 

Only complex because I choose choices that make it so.

And Fear inhibits Joy.

Monday I can recall feeling nothing but fear. By that night I'll admit I was a mess.

Then a series of Epiphanies led to that freeing feeling.

I'd rather have the joy. Then live with no fear and let it go.

No Fear.

I stuck up that little picture of me. The one just after I jumped into mid air; right before the happy dance, in that YES moment.

The one I had made into a poster. It came, now it's put away until I can get it mounted.

Not something that would mean anything to anyone else. But it was sorely needed by me.

I've withdrawn from all of my teams. 

I miss them. Slowly but surely allowing Harry to gain access and control. Isolation again.

But I have knowledge now that I am not alone.

Maybe I shouldn't be doing this when I am so wasted tired. I tend to really ramble aimlessly.

I slept for nearly 10 hour last night. Was going to do the same tonight, we shall see.

Not feeling so hot. 

Very unexpected surprises this week. Taking alot out of me in the process.

Funeral tomorrow. Not sure If I will make it. Sensei Brad was only 37.  Thirty Seven, with two girls. And now he's gone. 

Just never know with life. Never know. One more reason for the No Fear living.

Live your best moment now, today.

In that moment before I was awake there was the question.

What's the worst that could happen? That lose it  before it ever started and got off the ground.

Live out loud.

Live. Love. Laugh.